I never thought that moving to Alabama would be as emotionally difficult for me as it has been at times. I’m used to moving. It seems like I’ve moved every four years (or less). I know about moving. In a way, I enjoy it. I actually like packing my boxes and unpacking them. You find memories that you had forgotten about.
I think it used to be easier because I used to be more of an introvert. I spent more of my time ignoring the world around me to consume the ones I could read about, watch on the television, or create for myself. Last night my neighbor told me that it’s hard to get her out to do things because she’s more of a hermit. I totally understand that. Even during my last year at university, when I was becoming more interested and involved in the world around me, I was a bit of a shut in. If I wasn’t in class, volunteering, or at work then I was at home. I hated feeling obligated to other people when it was supposed to be my time.
That’s changed. I want to go do things with people. People other than my boyfriend, even. At times I feel overwhelmingly alone in this ridiculous, expansive, suburbian excuse of a city. Grand Rapids is more of a city, and Grand Rapids isn’t very big. I suppose the biggest difference between then and now is that I used to get to see a lot of people whose company I truly enjoyed at work. Now? I see people on Facebook. Basically, I need to get some new friends. Actually, I need to get a job. But supposedly you can make friends outside of work/school/volunteering? I don’t know how you do that. I’ve never done that. Do you make friends at bars? Because I don’t really go to those. It would appear that my introverted past self is sabotaging me now. “Bahahaha! You will spend all day inside and alone, wench! ENJOY THE INDOOR LIGHTING!”
I guess I could read a self help book. Is there one about how to pick up friends at the local Target?